


Growing Pains

by paranoids



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: 1980s, Angst, Coming of Age, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, High School, Jealousy, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-03-03 15:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paranoids/pseuds/paranoids
Summary: Mike’s controlling nature meets its match when his plan for the perfect, peaceful freshman year with El and the gang unravels instantly. Each member of the party struggles to transition into being ninth graders. Meanwhile, under the pressure of the tumultuous new environment that is high school, Mike and El have to face what their relationship means when free from the looming threat of supernatural peril ... but are they ever really free?





	1. Preface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a big thanks to tumblr user hannahberrie for reading through and editing the first 2 chapters of this work. Considering her story "Everybody Talks" inspired me to write this in the first place, I really owe her one ;)

El had improved exponentially in language – reading, writing, speaking – over the course of Mike’s eighth grade year, and by the end of July of 1985, he was certain that she was ready for high school.

Over the summer, they read practically all of the Nancy Drew books, which Nancy owned in a set. He had begged and begged his sister to borrow them. Initially she was reluctant, but as Mike’s persistent nagging eventually wore her down. She figured it would be better for her to grant him access than to find them missing after he’d stolen them from her room. “OK just remember this is a nice collection. Just make sure she doesn’t, like … bleed on them.” Nancy tapped her nose.

“She won’t, I promise.”

El was insanely into them, which made Mike proud of himself, being the one responsible for introducing them to her. He hardly got bored at all reading them - he didn’t even care that they were girl’s books - mostly because he never tired of seeing El smile, and those books made her beam.

First, Mike read them aloud to El. Soon, she was reading them out loud by herself, slowly, but stumbling only occasionally on words. Mike would listen eagerly, though none of the story actually resonated with him, only the glow of her voice as she read and the warmth of the sun on his face.

His best days were those in which he visited El – which were as often as the chief of police would allow. They’d read out in the woods, sometimes find a good tree, other times they’d lay outside on the ground, and Mike would ramble on about something, anything, while El listened, intrigued. One day, possibly the hottest and the muggiest of the year, Mike surprised El by hitting her over the head with a balloon filled with water. At first, she was terrified. She whipped her head around, on guard, ready for battle. But seeing Mike, she immediately softened.

“What is this?”

“It’s a water balloon.”

“Water balloon.”

“Yeah, a balloon filled with water. We throw them at each other.” Mike tossed another so it hit her square in the shoulder, then proceeded to crack up laughing. This time, El squinted her eyes in mock-anger, but a smile was spread wide across her face.

Suddenly, a balloon was lifted high into the air, just above mike’s head.

“Oh, come on, that’s not fair - ”

At once, it fell on top of him, breaking over the top of his head, water pooling over his head and shoulders.

“Alright. Here we go.”

The two of them tossed the balloons at one another until they were nothing but scraps littering the ground, the two of them soaked in water, heaving with laughter.  
Mike couldn’t have asked for a more perfect July.

August came sooner than both anticipated, or wanted – neither really wanting to let go of the blissful summer afternoons they’d shared. But August was transition period, and the beginning of a whole new world for the both of them.


	2. Remedial (adj., provided or intended for students who are experiencing learning difficulties)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike's excited for the new school year. El's preparing to assimilate into normal society. Nothing goes as expected.

Chief Hopper had been preparing El for months on their story, constantly reviewing at dinner, the sun beginning to set over their elusive cabin in the woods. Mike loved staying for dinner, sharing microwaved meals and secret glances with El. Sometimes she’d reach out her hand to touch Mike’s under the table and his face would flush, beet red.

That first night of August was no different than the rest of the summer nights Mike had spent with them; the three of them sat at the dinner table while Hopper reviewed their cover story for what seemed to Mike the thousandth time.

“Who are you?” Hopper asked.

“Jane Hopper,” El replied.

“Where did you live before here?”

“Iowa. With my mom.”

“Good.” … “And we’re going to have to start calling you Jane.”

Mike looked up, stunned.

“Jane,” El replied flatly. One of the most remarkable things about El was her ability to say something without showing any distinguishable emotion. What was she thinking? What was going on inside her crazy brilliant brain?

“Listen – I know it’s not ideal. But in order for this whole thing to work, we have to get used to the new name.”

“Jane,” El said again. Mike wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much, but every time the word “Jane” passed through El’s lips, his heart sunk a little more. He tried to push away the feeling.  

After dinner, El and Mike found their way outside into the wild grass out in front of the house. They sat side-by-side, and El let her hand slip into Mike’s, interlocking their fingers. It was completely dark now, and without the street lamps of Hawkins, Mike was in awe of just how many stars there were in the sky.

“Did you know that all of those stars are probably dead now?” He pointed up at the sky. “It takes like millions and mililons of years for that light to travel from outer space to us. So long that the light isn’t even really shining anymore, we are just seeing it way later.”

El smiled at him. “I like the stars,” she spoke softly. “They make it so it’s never completely dark.”

Mike stopped, remembering how she hated dark, enclosed places. He looked over at her, anticipating her to continue, say something about her past, answer one of the questions burning in Mike’s brain that he’d never dared speak aloud. But instead, in typical El fashion, that was it. She was a girl of few words. But when she spoke, they meant something. That’s what Mike liked best. He rambled, talked all day about anything and everything until someone finally shut him up, but El was sparse with what she chose to release into the universe.

Instead she just rested her head on his shoulder.

That was good, too.

“Will we read more Nancy Drew in school?” El whispered.

“No, it’ll be more boring stuff. But that’s ok, because I can help you with your homework. I can read all your books for you if you need me to.”

“I can read,” she smiled. “I know. It will just be ... different.” He avoided saying “harder” or “difficult”. He wanted El to be excited about school, just like him -  it was his first time since elementary school actually being excited for a new year of school. The party would be whole, complete. No missing Will or El. No evil demons from a different dimension haunting his best friends, or watching his girlfriend overwork her brain until blood gushed from her nose.

“Things are all going to change tomorrow,” Mike whispered. “You’re going to be a whole different person.”

“No,” El interrupted. “Just a different name.”

Mike smiled, and all at once the ominous feeling that had come with “Jane” was whisked away, and he was suddenly bouncy, excited, rejuvenated. He’d have to get used to these tidal waves of emotions that hit him all at once and then receded just as quickly, the ones he’d felt ever since Eleven.

“High school is gonna be great, El. We’ll have classes together; the whole party will be together. Nancy will be there, but we can ignore her. The seniors hang out at a different part of the school than the freshmen anyways. And we can join the AV club and I can show you a bunch of cool stuff. And you can be out in the real world again. No more hiding.”

“No more hiding,” she echoed, a tender smile spreading at the corner of her lips.

The sound of Hopper slamming the door behind him, coming out to the truck to take Mike home, startled the two into a standing position.

“Come on, kid. I gotta get you home.”

Mike looked over at Eleven, who was still smiling at him. “

’night, Mike,” El spoke so quietly it was almost a whisper.

“I’ll see you soon El.”

“Jane. Remember guys? Jane,” Hopper interjected.

 

* * *

 

August 15th  was registration day and the first day El stepped foot into Hawkins High School. She remained silent the entire truck ride there. Hopper had to look over at her periodically to make sure she was still breathing.  When he finally pulled into the parking lot, he put out his arm to block a El from leaving.

“Listen. It’s gonna be OK, kid,” he assured. “I’ll be back here at 4 o’clock sharp.”

“Four.” She repeated, with a stern look.

“Four!” he cracked a smile. “I promise.” He removed his arm from blocking her way, and El hopped out of the passenger seat.

She walked nervously toward the front of the school where her friends were waiting for her. They all grinned with excitement to see her. She had seen them only a couple times over the summer, and not all at once, as it would have attracted too much attention. It was a treat to see them all together again.

Dustin was especially giddy to see her. “El! Since you’re here, you should flip over Billy’s car. He drove Max here.”

Lucas hit Dustin’s arm. “Dude, shut up!”

“What?”

“Someone could hear you.” “

So what?”

“So the mind powers are a secret, remember?” Lucas whispered through gritted teeth.

Max shuffled awkwardly. “Hey, El.”

El looked away.

Mike lit up to see her there, outside, without any costume or alternate identity. Just El.

“Are you ready for your placement exams? Actually – don’t answer that. I know you’re ready!” Mike was grinning and El tried to match his enthusiasm, but could only do so half-heartedly. The truth was she had no idea what to expect, seeing as she hadn’t studied any of these subjects since she was a child. Reading with Mike and tutoring will Hopper could only take her so far. At the lab, once she started experiments full-time, there wasn’t really a point in teaching her anything else, which made her behind the other kids  – how far, she didn’t know, but behind all the same.

“I need to go now,” El said. She started over to the doors to the main office, but Mike grabbed her hand to stop her, just for a moment. He squeezed. “You’re going to do great.”

While she was led into an empty classroom, the rest of the party surveyed the different cafeteria tables, putting their names next to the different classes they were going to take. She knew they would all be trying to get into the same classes, whatever “honors” ones were open to 9th graders. Mike explained to her that honors classes just meant that they were special and for the smarter kids like him and the rest of their friends, which El found to be a little _pretentious_ ( _adj., attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed_ ).

El sat down uncomfortably in one of the little desks in the room, each with a chair attached to the table. It felt like a trap, legs squished underneath a table, a bar to her right blocking her from escape. She was automatically on guard, her fists clenched with tension.

Apparently, it showed, as the overseeing teacher, a nice-looking but frazzled Mrs. Horowitz  gave her a smile. “Don’t worry, hon. Nothing to be afraid of.” Why did everyone keep saying that? It’ll be OK. Nothing to be afraid of. Suddenly she wondered if she should be more afraid than she actually was.

The first exam was English. The beginning questions were easy enough, a simple passage and questions about it. Who is the main character? What does this word mean, in context? ( _Context: noun., the parts of something written or spoken that immediately precede and follow a word or passage and clarify its meaning._ ) She was actually starting to feel confident, until the passages became harder, more complex. Instead of short answers, the pages became blank with too much space – expecting an answer that filled a whole page? About what - a response? _Respond to the reading._ How was she supposed to respond to a piece of text? It couldn’t understand her. Nor did it ask any questions. She tried not to let the blankness of the final answer sheets upset her.  

Science was better, thanks to Mike. His spouting of factoids made it easier to understand questions and at least guess on some answers. And thankfully, unlike the English portion, the questions were straight-forward. What is this, where does this come from, why does this happen. She wasn’t expected to “respond” to anything.

But by the time the third placement exam rolled around, El was wiped out from the first two tests, and her brain throbbed as if she had actually flipped Billy’s car, as Dustin suggested. El checked her nose to see if it was bleeding, but it was dry as a desert.

“I know this is a long process, but you’re almost there!” Mrs. Horowitz cheered. “Last one is math.”

She handed El the papers, and El looked down to see a completely different language. A confusion of letters and numbers and squiggly lines and straight lines and arrows and

“What?” she said out loud.

“I’m sorry?” Mrs. Horowitz looked up from her desk.

“Oh. … Sorry.” El had no idea what anything meant. Square root? Solve for X? She struggled through one problem before giving up entirely. There was no use, she couldn’t even begin to try to guess what an answer should look like. Desolated, she slid out of her seat and handed the papers back to Mrs. Horowitz.

“Thank you,” she said as politely as she could manage.

“But, miss Hopper … you left everything blank.” El went red.

“Goodbye,” she responded, turning her back to the classroom.

“Excuse me, Jane, just wait a minute – “ El couldn’t help herself, shaking with frustration she slammed the door shut behind her… without ever touching the door.

School hadn’t started yet and she was already beginning to feel like it wouldn’t be everything Mike had talked it up to be.

“So, how’d it go?” Mike was waiting eagerly just outside the double doors for her, even though she’d told him not to wait for her. El melted when she saw him; he had a habit of making her do that. Even when she wanted to be tough and angry, she couldn’t help but align herself with his softness. His natural gentleness was contagious.

“OK,” she said after a moment. The brightness in Mike’s expression faded. “

El? Are you OK?” his voice thick with concern.

“Yes.” She gave him an assuring smile, though Mike was reluctant to accept it.

“I go… Hopper is here.”

“Oh, OK. I’ll see you tomorrow – first day! Everyone’s getting together early to check schedules, see what classes we have together.”

El nodded.

“Ok. Bye El,” he looked at her uncomfortably, as if he didn’t really want to leave her. She smiled reassuringly and gave a gentle wave. Perhaps for the first time ever, she walked away from Mike by choice.

* * *

 

Mike woke up early, if you can call it that, considering he didn’t really sleep. He put on his favorite polo and jeans and raced down to the breakfast table. He imagined El right now, sitting down with Hopper, probably eating a stack of eggos. He smiled.

“I made pancakes for your first day,” Mike’s mother spoke nonchalantly. Her eyes were distracted by a magazine, flipping through the pages lazily. Mike took one plain pancake from the stack on the table and threw it in his mouth. “Thanks, mom. I gotta go! Bye!” he called out through a mouth stuffed with pancake. He slung his backpack quickly over his shoulder and raced to the front door.

Karen Wheeler looked up from her magazine, startled by her son’s abrupt exit. She shouted after him, “Michael!”,  but he was already past the staircase and headed outside.

Nancy had just come down the stairs as he was bouncing out the door.

“Wait, Mike, Jonathan said he’d give you a ride.”

“No thanks!” He was already outside, on his bike, pedaling with especial force, chomping down his pancake with both hands on the handlebars. Unsurprisingly, he was the first one to arrive at school, but Lucas and Dustin following shortly after. They parked their bikes next to his.

One by one the rest arrived, Max on her skateboard, El, and finally Will, dropped off by Jonathan. By the time the gang was entirely together, they still had 20 minutes before the first bell.

“Alright team. Let’s engage. The mission, get our schedules. Meet back here in 10.”

“God, you’re such a dweeb.” Max said with a good-hearted laugh.

Mike rolled his eyes, ignoring her.

The six of them dove into the cafeteria, where stacks of schedules were bundled together by last name. First, Eleven went to the A-E line without thinking, until Mike guided her to the line next door with the H’s.

“Hopper, remember?”

She smiled gratefully. Mike was at the end of the tables and the first of the group to get his schedule. Sometimes having a last name at the end of the alphabet had its advantages. He scanned the slip of paper with nervous anticipation. First period: Honors English. Biology. Algebra. PE. Introductory physics. French. All as he expected. Perfect.

Mike glanced up to see El standing next to him, staring at her schedule intently.

“So? What’d you get?” Mike asked eagerly.

El looked up at him, puzzled. “What is ‘remedial’?”

Mike’s brow furrowed. A few fellow students around them snickered amongst themselves.

“What?” Mike asked. He moved in closer beside her.

El handed over her schedule. Sure enough it read: remedial English. Remedial math. Remedial. P.E. Remedial.” Mike swallowed. So, they wouldn’t be together after all. El would be stuck with the wastoids who never bothered to care about school.

“Well,” he began cautiously, “we have P.E. together.”


	3. Confidence (noun, a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike is concerned about Eleven. Eleven is concerned about her role as a student. A new boy is introduced into El's life without warning. 
> 
> Basically a lot of internal monologue. (Whoops.)

 “I will be OK,” El assured Mike, interrupting his near-ballistic rant about how unfair this all was.. She said it with a degree of certainty she did not actually possess. She remembered the frustration of her exams, the way it all made her head throb in pain.

Would it be like that over and over?

They were all gathered in the cafeteria, huddled together like a school of minnows pretending to be a shark.

All at once a loud, piercing sound rang over the entire building. El’s eyes shot open and she instinctively took a step just in front of her friends, protective.

“That’s the bell,” Mike soothed. “it means it’s time for class. Every time it rings, you go to another class on your list, see?” He pointed to her schedule, which she was gripping so tightly her fingers were white. “And after four classes, we meet right back here for lunch.”

“Yeah, we’ll all be here,” Lucas chimed in in support. “Dustin will be easy to spot, just look for this mane of hair.”

“What?”

“Relax, man. Who else could grow such luscious locks?” He grinned.

“Screw you, Lucas.”

“I mean it!”

Mike rolled his eyes. “We’ll be waiting right here. In this spot.”

She could tell he was trying to seem upbeat, but his disappointment was evident. Mike wasn’t very good at hiding his feelings.

“We better get going,” Max piped in. “Where are you all headed?”

“Science wing,” Dustin and Mike said in sync.

“I’ve got P.E. first,” Lucas sighed.

“I’ve got…music,” Max grumbled. Dustin opened his mouth to say something –

“Not a word, Henderson,” Max warned. “My mom made me take it.” She turned to Lucas, “I’ll see you third period.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek before racing off to the choral hall.

Lucas couldn’t hide his sheepishness nor his glee. 

El, however, tried to hide her panic as the group began to break off into different directions. El didn’t want to admit she was scared. When she’d gone off with Kali, the freedom of being out amongst the world was invigorating, freeing … this was different. Like some kind of massive trap of mice in a maze. The hallways were flooded, and she felt herself being closed in, like a dark, locked, steel room …

“El? El, are you OK?” She turned to look at Mike, her eyes wider than a human’s naturally should be. He looked alarmed.

“El?”

Mike’s voice somehow managed to draw her back to reality. If this school was a rushing river, Mike was her life support raft. He was the one who always made her feel safe, kept her grounded, ever since she’d escaped the lab. Sometimes, like now, she still yearned to find her way back to his basement, hide in her fort and play with Mike’s supercomm.

“I’m OK,” El assured.

Mike turned his head. “I’ll meet you there!” he called out to Dustin, who was already halfway down the hall and waiting for Mike expectantly.

Mike turned back to El. “I’ll walk you to class.”

He glanced over that same, stupid white slip of paper.

“Room 57. OK.” He smiled, reassuring.

Mike said once that El was the strongest person he’d ever met. But the way that Mike made her instantly feel at ease, flipped her fear into a calmness, was unlike anyone she’d ever met. Not that she’d met that many people.

But to her, he was the strongest.

“Well, I’m going to room 55,” Will said gently. El glanced over; she hadn’t even noticed he was there. Everyone else in the group had gone. “We can go that way together, if you want.”

 “Cool,” El tried to sound nonchalant.

“Okay… well, I’ll see you guys later.” He turned to El, rocking on the heels of his feet, visibly uncertain of leaving her behind.

“Go to class,” El instructed. “I will be OK. It’s just school.”

“Okay,” he agreed warily. He glanced at Will and then back to El, pressed his lips together, and pivoted, headed the opposite direction toward Dustin.

Eleven and Will walked silently to the corner of the arts building, where both of their English classes were held.

“Are you excited to be in school?” Will asked in a naturally quiet voice.

Eleven looked at him and half-smiled. “Halfway happy,” she said.

They spoke sparsely, but that was the essence of their relationship. She felt tethered to Will in a way she didn’t with anyone else. The unique strength of that invisible rope that bound them together made words nearly useless. It was as if they understood each other, every move, every glance, without saying anything at all.

If she had one thing to thank the upside down for, it was that.

Will dropped El off in front of room 57, next to the open doorway. He smiled encouragingly, sweetly.

“You’re going to do great, Eleven,” he whispered. “I mean -- Jane.”  

“Thanks. You will too.”

Will’s smile was stitched with kindness. He waved to her goodbye before turning around and heading towards his own classroom, 2 doors down.

El took a deep breath.

Here we go.

Her first class went nothing as she expected. Truthfully, she’d been a little embarrassed by the way Mike had gone on about the losers that were in remedial classes. It made her feel useless. Without use of her telekinetic abilities, what was she, except a girl who could hardly do math?

She found a seat in the back and sat in silence, slumped slightly. The teacher welcomed the class to English, and talked a bit about the books they would be reading. One was called “The Outsiders.” It sounded kinda cool.

Other students whispered as the teacher talked to the group of uninterested kids. They sometimes shot glances at her, and then whispered more. El hardly noticed. It really didn’t bother her to be the freak, so long as she had her friends. So long as she had her home, and Hopper. Mike. Of course, Mike.

But what she had prepared for did not necessarily occur.

Eleven was prepared for laughter, snickering, remarks, which she really didn’t experience. She was even ready to be the town weirdo, though no one seemed interested enough in her to label her as such. She was just another new kid. What made her special?

What was that expression Hop had used again? … “Plain Jane.” She was just plain Jane.

All of this she had prepared for, but what she wasn’t prepared for was _him._

 

 

El walked into second period with a false air of confidence. She stood up tall. Her hair was dark and dense, thick curls pouring to her shoulders, wild and untamed. Her eyes were dark pits, daring anyone to question her. But her body language defied her – soft, unsure, revealing a scared young girl on her first day of school. Even her face was soft, flushed with a nervous pink.

This time, there were assigned seats.

Instead of choosing the back corner to hide, she was forced to sit square in the center, in the third row. There was no one in the seat left of hers. One girl was to her right, who gave her a welcoming smile.

After a moment, “Ugh, math. Right?”

The girl’s  voice was so sweet it was probably the equivalent of what Eggos smelled like, right out of the toaster. El smiled back at her.

Much better than she had prepared for.

The teacher, Ms. Thornberry, proceeded to begin the lesson, what she called the “basics”. Ms. Thornberry explained that “x” and “y” were actually numbers, but they weren’t saying who they were out front. Essentially, they are wearing a disguise. El was surprised to find how easy it was to follow, when giving it her full attention, and as the lesson continued and she continued to understand, her confidence grew more and more. When it came time for the class to start their practice problems, she zeroed in on the worksheet and the rest of the world seemed to disappear.

She hardly noticed the boy that walked in twenty minutes late. He was tall, like _really_ tall – taller than even Mike – with a disheveled mess of ginger hair.

“You’re late, Mr. …” Ms. Thornberry looked down at her attendance sheet to try and find his name.

“It’s Joel,” he said. “My name’s Joel.”

“Well, Joel, you’re 20 minutes past the bell. I know this is the first day, and we all have the first day jitters, so I’ll let it slide. But one more time after this and you’re off straight to the principal.” Joel said nothing, his eyes glazed over.

He strode down the column of seats, headed straight for the back.

“No, Joel. Please find your assigned seat.”

El looked up and saw Mrs. Thornberry pointing at the seat next to hers.  She instinctively grew rigid. Joel sighed, turned around, and plopped next to El.

As Eleven tried to continue with her math, Joel eyed her up and down. After a moment, he leant in toward her. El instinctively flinched.  

“What’s with the farmer get-up?” he whispered.

El was wearing her best pair of jeans, converse, and an old flannel. It was the best she could find. Mrs. Byers had promised El she’d take her school shopping, but she couldn’t get the time off of work. She had apologized profusely, and El had to remind her several times that she wasn’t disappointed

She was kind of disappointed.

El didn’t look over at Joel.

“Seriously,” he continued. “You look ready to go plow the fields.”

El breathed deeply, in and out.

_My name is Jane Hopper. I am in remedial math. I don_ _’_ _t have special abilities. I can_ _’_ _t use my abilities_ _–_

“I’m just messing with you. It’s cute.”  

El looked over uneasily to see, surprisingly, him _smiling_ at her. There was nothing tainted or ugly about it. It was just a genuine smile.

 “I’m Joel,” he whispered. A pause of silence.

“I know,” she replied. “you already said that.”

He let out a chuckle under his breath. She didn’t understand what was funny.

“So are you going to tell me _your_ name? Or am I going to have to go this whole year calling you ‘farm girl’.”

“I’m El-” she stopped herself. “Jane.”

“El Jane? Are you taking Spanish with Señor Ortiz?”

He laughed at his own joke while she stared blankly.

“Jeez. Tough crowd.”

Maybe Joel was weirder than she was.

El’s mind wandered back to her math worksheet, and thought about how hard she had to work to pass this class so she could be at the same level as her friends next year.

El returned her focus to her problem set. She picked up her pencil and the world outside the sheet of white paper slowly fading into a blurred nothingness.

Joel just grinned. “You know, you don’t say much. But I like you,” Joel nodded as he spoke .“I like you, _el Jane._ ” 


	4. Compete (verb, strive to gain or win something by defeating or establishing superiority over others who are trying to do the same)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealous Mike shows himself. Joel reveals a nasty side. Dustin participates in an interesting activity. All amidst kids throwing balls at each other. 
> 
> P.E. is weird.

“Fucking PE,” Dustin muttered, slumping his shoulders in defeated misery. “Don’t we exercise our brains enough? Why do we have to overcome these academic hurdles and also actual hurdles?”

The four of them – Dustin, Will, El, and Mike – were all walking out to the gym for their “physical education.”

Mike had been waiting for this the entire day.

He tried to enjoy his classes. He really did. Especially introductory physics. He was learning some crazy cool stuff. And he was with all older kids, who didn’t care that he had been considered one of the four biggest dorks of Hawkins Middle three years running.

But, despite it all, his mind just kept circling back to El, just as it had been for the entire day. How was her day going? Was she understanding the stuff in her classes? How were other kids treating her? Did she accidentally break someone’s arm with her mind? Did she _purposefully_ break someone’s arm with her mind?

But a peaceful lunch with the party put him at ease, and El’s simple answer of “fine” when asked about her day, though not enough to quell his curiosity, gave enough reassurance to allow him to relax. The whole lunch hour he held El’s hand, even to the point of them eating one-handed just so their other hands could remain clasped together.

 And by the time the bell indicated the end of lunch and on to the final periods, Mike was back in a pleasant mood.

Gym class, what was once the most dreaded aspect of his academic career, was now the best part of his day.

“Oh, give it a rest,” Mike replied to Dustin playfully. “It should be fun – besides, we have El!” He wrapped his arm around El’s shoulders and gave a squeeze, grinning. His chest was unusually warm, and it felt as though his whole body was buzzing. He had reminded himself of how truly happy he was to have her there, with them, _with him_.  

“No, _you and Will_ have El. I have Mrs. Chavez and borderline asthma,” Dustin disagreed.

“Wait – you’re not in gym with us?”

“I’m taking step aerobics as a replacement.”

“You can _do that_?”

“If Jane Fonda can, then so can I!” Dustin’s voice lowered with emphasis. 

“You’ll be the only … you know, _guy_ ” Mike continued.

“A perfect opportunity to meet the ladies. Lessens the competition.”

“Definitely,” Wil tacked on supportively.

El’s brow furrowed.

“Competition? What competition?”

Dustin looked over at her, then glanced at Mike. “Nevermind.” 

“Competition for girls, he means,” Mike explained.

“You’ll be fighting girls?” El looked over at Dustin.

“No, fighting _for_ girls.”

Mike jumped in, “though as soon as he puts on a sweatband he’s already lost all hope –”

Will tittered.

“You joke, Mike, but just wait!”

“You’re going to fight. For girls,” El repeated. She seemed to not be grasping the concept.

“It’s not _literal._ Just – nevermind,” Dustin had obviously lost his “explaining-basic-social-interactions-to-the-telekinetic” patience.

El shrugged, but her face remained stone cold. Mike could tell she was irritated by being out of the loop. He tried to put himself in her shoes, but what it must be like to be entering the social world at age fourteen after living your adolescent life as a science experiment was just too far away from his reality to imagine. Even with the demagorgons and child-possessing demons of the upside down.

Mike reached out his hand and gave hers a reassuring squeeze. Her responding smile was lukewarm at best.

She’d seemed to be giving him a lot of those lately.

The four arrived at the gym just as other students were filing into the locker rooms to change. The three boys headed toward the male locker rooms; instinctively, El followed. Mike stopped in his tracks.

“You have to go in there,” he pointed to the identical room across the hallway, exactly the same despite the painted white figurine sporting a triangle instead of legs and a torso. “With the other girls.”

El raised an eyebrow, making him feel as if what he had just said was the dumbest thing on the planet. He became flustered.

“I’ll see you in just a sec,” he said, turning away.

When he looked back, she was no longer there.

The three changed quickly into regular gym shorts and t-shirts, the standard high school gym garb. Dustin gave Mike and Will a quick grin. “Alright, boys. Enjoy running around with balls like dumbasses. I’ll be busy spreading the Dustin charm.”

Mike and Will exchanged glances.

They met El outside, who was already waiting for them. Together, the three headed into the middle of the gymnasium, where the rest of the class was waiting for the instructor to give… well, instructions.

Mike was about to reach for El’s hand when, from the other side of the basketball court –

“Oh look, it’s el Jane!” All three of their heads shot up to find the source of the voice.

A boy who couldn’t have been taller than him – ok, maybe by a little bit – with ginger hair was standing amongst a couple other freshman boys.  

Mike’s lip curled instantly, his eyes slanted, forehead scrunched.

Who was _this_ guy?

He could feel El tense next to him, and he immediately was on guard. He knew very well she could fly the boy across the room if she wanted, but instinct was still instinct. And since the rainy night that changed his life as he knew it forever, his instinct had somehow become in tune with El.

The boy sauntered over to greet them. Or, well, her.

“We meet once again, señorita.”

El stood still and expressionless. Mike was becoming accustomed to sensing her feelings just from the way her body was angled, or from tiny cues she gave away, like her body becoming stiff, or her bottom lip pouting _just slightly,_ or by tucking a loose lock of hair behind her ear nervously. Still, she was too good at being a mystery.

Mike got this sick kind of feeling that Joel enjoyed mysteries. 

"Oh, come on, don’t pretend like you don’t know me.”

“Math,” El said flatly. To whom she was speaking Mike didn’t know.

“Yes, math,” the boy smirked.

It was like Will and Mike, who stood to El’s right, were invisible, or completely nonexistent. The boy refused to even acknowledge they were present.

He made a fist and punched El’s arm lightly, playfully.

Mike took a step forward, in front of El.

The four parties present all went silent.

It was a dumb move. But Mike hadn’t even formed a thought before he did it – it just sort of, you know, happened.

Instinct.

For the first time, the boy looked over at him, flicking his eyes up and down, as if sizing Mike up. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, the sound of a whistle ripped through the hum of ninth-grade chatter. Everyone turned to Coach Bern, a plump, short, man, standing at the front of the pack.

“Alright, listen up. I don’t feel like taking attendance, so we’re just going to assume that everyone’s here. Welcome to gym. Today we’re playing dodgeball,” his voice could not have sounded duller if he tried. “Uh let’s see…” the coach looked lazily out at the mass of kids before him. First he pointed to a girl, Kelly Chu, and then to the ginger boy that stood beside them.

“You – what’s your name?” The coach asked.

“Joel.”

 _Joel._ What a stupid name.

“Alright. You and Chu – coaches. Pick your teams. Don’t hit each other in the face. Let’s go.”

Kelly didn’t hesitate to move away from the rest of the group, standing opposite from Joel with the class in the middle. Mike realized they were standing with Joel on the outskirts of the crowd. He tugged at Will’s shirt sleeve.

“C’mon.”

The three shuffled into the center of the room, blending into the mass.

“Alright, I’m going first,” Kelly yelled. “And I’m picking Greg B.”

An athletic-looking boy hopped up from amongst the crowd and half-jogged to Kelly’s side. The two high-fived. The rest of the class looked expectantly at Joel.

“El Jane,” he announced loudly, “you are my first pick. Try not to feel too overwhelmed by this great honor.”

Mike was stunned, though reflecting on it, he didn’t know why he should be. Joel was practically salivating while he was talking to El; naturally he’d try to impress her. It was just that… Mike couldn’t remember a time, like, ever, in which a member of the party had been chosen for a team first. Or second. Or … anything other than last, really.

A couple kids laughed at Joel’s _stunning_ wit. Most looked over to see who the hell “el Jane” was.  

Their faces read: If she’s cool, why is she sitting next to the total weirdos?

El looked over at Mike nervously and then back at Joel.

Mike sighed. He hated the words before they came out of his mouth. “You gotta get up and stand by him.”

“I know,” she said.

El sat frozen for another long moment. Joel raised an eyebrow. “Lose your legs somewhere, Janey?”

The class laughed. Mike rolled his eyes. He hated the way Joel thought he was so funny. And the way he said “Jane.” He hated the way he’d made up a nickname for her already and he’d known her for, like, two periods.

_You only knew her for a couple hours when you first gave her a nickname._

Mike gritted his teeth, demanding the voice in his head to _shut up._

As El got up to stand next to Joel, Will looked over cautiously at Mike, whose face was in a permanent scowl.

The picks continued between Joel and Kelly Chu, back and forth, until Mike and Will were the last two remaining.  

“I guess our reputations traveled with us to high school,” Mike mumbled under his breath. Nerds. Dweebs. Frogface. Zombie boy.

It was Joel’s turn to pick. Mike didn’t want to be separated from Will, nor did he want Will to be picked last, but he also _really_ didn’t want to be separate from El. Not right now. Not with this loser running the team. His hands clenched. There was going to be no positive outcome of this stupid sports game, he was sure of it.  

“Uh, you, scrawny kid.”  Joel waved his hand indifferently toward Mike and Will, not really distinguishing which of the two of them he was referring to. Mike and Will exchanged glances. Neither of them exactly had burly physiques.

Joel laughed as neither moved.

“The one who _isn’t_ six feet tall.”

Will looked back at Mike.

He meant Will.

Which meant Mike was on the opposing team.

Will started moving toward Joel’s team hesitantly.

For whatever reason, Mike spat out – “Be careful.”

Be careful? Of what? What a stupid thing to say. What was wrong with his brain lately?

Thankfully, no one else had heard.

Will stood by El and the team formed a huddle.

“Whatever. I guess that leaves me with Wheeler,” Kelly Chu said.

Mike reluctantly moved to where Kelly and the others on her dodgeball team stood.

He looked back to catch the eyes of El, or Will, but both had their backs to him in the circle of teammates they had just made.

“Alright,” Kelly said. “if you’re shorter, stay to the front. Focus on dodging, and cover for kids in the back. Bigger, your sole focus is offence. Throw as much and as hard as possible.” Everyone nodded. Kelly looked over at Mike. “And Wheeler, just try to stay out of the way.”

A couple kids snickered. Mike rolled his eyes for what had to be the twelfth time that day.

“Alright. Break.”

The group broke up and ran to grab balls – the red, bouncy, rubber kind – from a cart in the middle of the gym. Mike sighed. Why did everyone have to take this so seriously?

He glanced back over to the other side. Will and El’s team had broken up and were also arming themselves.

Will and El were off to the side, talking to one another. El laughed at something he had said. Mike felt a small pang of jealousy. Not at the fact that Will and El were together, but that they were enjoying themselves without him. 

           

           

The funniest part of all, and there wasn’t much funny about it, was that El, without her powers, was pretty terrible at dodgeball. It wasn’t like she wasn’t strong, or fast, but she was too above the game to even try. Like Mike, she hardly participated. She would block kids from getting hit, sure (she usually held out one hand to catch the ball which Mike thought might seem a little weird to an onlooker), but she never threw the ball back. She’d make a catch and then hand the ball to Will, who was active in the game, running back and forth, laughing, and, seemingly, actually enjoying himself.

 He was pretty good at it, too. Being on the smaller side, he was able to run and dodge the balls quite well, not to mention that El had obviously taken on the role as Will’s personal bodyguard. If a ball even dared to make its way toward him, she’d be there to catch it. Maybe that would seem emasculating to someone like Joel, but Will didn’t seem to care, if he even noticed. (All Will would ever say about El was how cool she was, and how lucky they were to have her.)

At first, Mike was fine. He stood awkwardly off to the side, occasionally ducking as a stray ball flew his way. He just watched El and Will, hardly in the line of fire.

Until Joel, that is.

Mike was thinking up ways to make the hour go by faster, like making up a story in his head, or planning chess plays.

Then, _thwack._

The ball bounced off the wall right next to his head, missing him by, like, a centimeter.

Alarmed, Mike whipped his head to see who was responsible for the attack, to find no one else but Joel smiling at him.

 _At him._ They were making eye contact.

Mike’s nose flared.

Joel found another ball, put all the weight into his arm, and hurled the ball toward Mike. Mike’s face, specifically. Or so it seemed.

Anything above the chest counted as a foul, he wouldn’t _actually_ be trying to hit him in the –

Another ball came whistling through the air and Mike just barely jumped out of its way. It shot straight like an arrow through the space where his head would’ve been.

Clearly Joel was not playing for points.

This wasn’t a game. This was a war, and Mike, for whatever reason, had become a target.

Mike, for the first time in possibly his life, picked up a ball that had rolled to the ground and threw it back at Joel with all his strength, aiming for Joel’s head. The ball landed somewhere between four and six feet to the left of where he was intending, and at its peak height went up to Joel’s knees.

To no one’s surprise, Mike sucked at sports.

Joel grinned, picked up the ball and hurled it back. Again, just barely missing Mike.

This back and forth continued for what seemed like an eternity (but was probably 3-4 minutes).

Finally, Joel, who was frustrated by his lack of results, picked up a ball and reared it back so far behind his head to throw that Mike was certain it was going to knock him out. He jumped to the side and waited for the ball to come whizzing at him. He covered his face with his arms, shut his eyes, and waited.

And waited.

Mike opened one eye. Joel was no longer holding a ball but was cradling a bleeding nose and trying not to cry. By the looks of it, someone had managed to throw the ball hard enough it hit him in the face.

The realization hit Mike just in time to catch her wiping a bit of blood away from her nose. She didn’t look at him.

“Hey!” Coach Bern’s voice called out. “I said don’t kill each other! Alright, game over. Get lost.”

As if on cue, the bell rang.

Mike, frozen in place, watched Joel jog over to El. He leaned in so his lips were practically brushing her ear.

“You were good out there, el Jane.”

Mike was stunned.

Before she could reply, he was practically skipping off to the locker room, that _loser._

Mike just stared. He was at a loss for words. Part of him wanted to scream, another part wanted to ask El if she was ok, and another part wanted to _hit him in the face_.

Before he could say or do anything, El had turned and walked away.

Game over.

 

 

 

His last period was a miserable, never-ending hour of despair and horror.

OK, maybe not that bad.

But Mike was so completely thrown off by what happened in gym and had no idea what to do or say. Would he have to hire a hitman? Was Joel going to try and kill him?

Joel didn’t feel like a bully. He felt far more sinister, as though he wasn’t mean for sport, but mean as a life choice. Like mean ran through his veins.

Was he over-reacting? Did Joel, being an aggressive hot-head, just lose his temper and play the game too aggressively?

But the image of his lips just nearly touching El’s ear was burned into his retinas, and he couldn’t escape.

 All he could think about was what he was going to say to her, and what she was going to say to him, about what happened, about how his head was almost severed from the rest of his body by that total psycho who happened to maybe have a thing for her.

Was it possible … could she… have a thing for him back?

When the bell indicated the end of school, Mike still didn’t know how he was going to face El. He walked through the halls and to his locker slowly, but once he’d reached the bike racks he had run out of time. There she was, waiting for him.

“Hi,” he began timidly.

“Hi.”

He spat out the first thing he thought of to say.

“Thank you, for earlier.”

El nodded, eyes downcast.

There was a long pause of silence.

“Mouthbreather,” she whispered.

Mike couldn’t help but laugh. It was simple, but the most fitting thing that could’ve possibly been said. And it comforted him, somehow.

“Yeah. That guy’s a total mouthbreather.” Mike paused.

 “Weird first day, right?” he offered.

 He stared at El’s eyelashes, how long they were and the way her eyes sparkled in the sunlight. He couldn’t help but melt into a smile, one of his gooey, helpless smiles that revealed his utter devotion.

He was so glad the day was over and still _so glad_ she was there.

El looked up at him shyly. “Very weird.”

He still had so many questions, but in that moment, he favored nothing than the simple silence and the quickening beat of his heart. The talking could wait.

Mike took El’s hand gingerly. The two began walking toward his bike, which wasn’t more than a few feet away. But walking hand in hand felt as natural as breathing.

And for a moment, there was nothing else in the world.

           


	5. Uncertainty (adj, (of a person) not completely confident or sure of something.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is gonna be fine.   
> Right?

_“No, I’m positive, the ball hovered in mid-air in front of my face.”_

_A pause of silence, a response on the other end of the line we can’t hear._

_“Yes, it’s her. No mistake._

_She’s the one.”_

 

* * *

 

Jim Hopper hated how antsy he felt waiting for El to come home. He hadn’t felt this much bottled up anxiety since Sarah. He had taken work off early to cook dinner, a real dinner – not just another slab of mystery meat slightly thawed in the microwave – to celebrate El’s first day. But he hadn’t anticipated how uncommonly nervous he would be after 4 pm rolled around and she still wasn’t there. I mean, he _had_ left her alone for multiple days at one point, and she had the power to move things with her mind, he really shouldn’t have to worry about her getting home from Hawkins High … right?

 He switched constantly between looking out the window and checking his watch. He’d totally forgotten about dinner. Once the sun began its gradual decline in the sky, Hopper was grabbing for his pistol, ready to head back to the station and begin his missing persons search.

One last glance out to the road showed Mike rolling up to the front of their house, El on the back of the bike. Hopper breathed out a long sigh of relief. He threw off his hat before Mike and El entered the cabin, and tried to regain some sliver of composure. Luckily, the two didn’t seem to be paying much attention.

They were silent walking in, like two young ghosts, Mike a shuffling, awkward giraffe behind a delicately average-sized Eleven.

“Kid!” Hopper called out, trying to hide his deep sighs of relief. “Aren’t your parents going to be worried about where you are?”

“No? It’s 4:30.”

“Oh. Right.”

Hopper was keenly aware of Mike’s unusual silence that evening. He had gently helped El with her English homework, but he wasn’t trembling with excitement like he usually was, energy vibrating through every fiber of his being. At dinner, silence hung over the table like an omen.

Something was up.

“So,” Hopper began tentatively. “How was your day?”

He wasn’t looking at either of them in particular, just waiting for the first person who would cave and answer the question.

There was a long pause while Mike and El silently battled it out to not answer.

Mike, of course, lost.

“Fine,” he said, shoveling mashed potatoes into his mouth.

Hopper nodded. “Fine, huh?”

Now, he singled out Eleven.

“What about you, kid? Fine also?”

“Fine,” she repeated.

“Well. I’m glad everything was fine.”

Hopper let off El and Mike from dish-washing duty, sensing the two had something on their minds they needed to work out. Something private.

He left the kitchen window open while he washed the plates.

He would never want to break El’s trust by intruding upon her privacy. But, if somehow the hushed voices between the two of them were carried by the breeze inside where Hopper happened to be in earshot … well, that simply couldn’t be helped.

 

El and Mike strolled outside into the tall grasses in which they had spent the long summer. The quarter-moon shone brightly above them, away from the streetlamps of Hawkins, and El turned to study Mike’s face in the moonlight. She smiled, concentrating her vision to find each freckle in the limited visibility of the night.

Mike noticed her staring and smiled uncomfortably. “What?” he asked sheepishly.

“Your face,” she said calmly. “Beautiful.”

His dopey grin was as wide as ever.

“No, it looks like a frog,” he said quietly.

El retained a soft smile. “Still… beautiful.”

Mike smiled, his face hot with embarrassment, but giddiness, too.

He plopped down in the grass. El followed suit.

“They’re all dead?” she asked him, recalling the conversation from a night not long ago.

Mike shook his head. “Not all. Some of those stars can live for millions of years.” He paused. “It’s crazy to think that something could shine that bright for _so long_.”

El reached out and placed her hand atop Mike’s firmly planted in the grass between them, on which he was resting his weight.

“Crazy.”

Mike paused and then glanced down, afraid to look her in the eye. “So that guy… the one that, you know, with the dodgeball … do you like him?”

“No,” El’s response was firm, crystal clear, leaving no room for interpretation.

“Not even, like, a little bit?”

“Not even a little bit.”

He sighed, glanced over at El’s face and then back at his lap. “You don’t think I’m a total loser, do you?”

El gripped Mike’s hand.

“ _No_.”

Mike nodded, and let out a suffocated laugh. “OK.”

They looked back up at the sky, and Mike gripped El’s hand back.

He wasn’t going to let one asshole ruin his vision for their next four years.

Even if he was a really big asshole.

Everything was going to be okay.

Right?

 

 

* * *

 

 

Max hated the flute. It was her second day of class but she was already certain that she absolutely hated it. She just couldn’t find the soundness (ha-ha) of logic in blowing hard into a metal tube to make noise. There were so many easier ways to make noise, louder noise, _better_ noise, with better instruments. Like drums and guitars and… well, you get the point.

Unable to focus on the notes in front of her, she let her mind wander. She longed for her skateboard, to ride down the back streets of Hawkins where cars hardly ever passed. She bet this time of day would be perfect, with everyone at school or work, and she’d have the place to herself. She’d take Lucas, and he’d say “I’ll just watch” like he always did. Then they’d go to the arcade and she’d school him, again, and still he’d smile at her with that big dorky grin and she’d peck his cheek when she thought no one else was looking.

Her mind drifted to the previous day, how weird Mike & El had been after school the day before, how they’d bailed on going to the arcade like they originally planned. And how they showed up that morning silent, Mike’s usual cheeriness dampened by some unknown source of gloominess. How El ignored her, per usual.

That nagged at her the most. She couldn’t help think this was probably going to be the rest of her life.

Whatever, she thought bitterly, though it totally was not whatever, and still the irritation resided that she couldn’t hold onto the _one_ female friend she had available to her. Not to mention the coolest person Max would probably ever meet in her lifetime, as it isn’t often that a telekinetic pops into a person’s life.

“Max?”

She jolted upright, and her flute clattered to the floor. Kids snickered while she hurriedly picked it off the ground, dusting off the mouthpiece.

“Now that you’ve got that clean enough, would you mind showing us how we just learned to practice our breathing?”

Shit.

 

Lucas and Dustin were outside her class her first period, arguing about something, which she found odd; not Lucas and Dustin arguing, but that they’d wait for her after first period when neither of them had class near her in the mornings.

“Hey, Stalker,” Max raised her eyebrows in amusement.

Dustin and Lucas stopped their discussion immediately.

“Hasn’t that joke gotten old by now?” Lucas asked good-naturedly.

“I don’t think it ever will,” she smiled. “What are you two nerds fighting about this time?”

Lucas glanced over at Dustin, who glanced at Lucas, and then back to Max.

“We just found out why Mike’s been acting so weird this morning,” Lucas began.

“Some new guy almost killed him with a dodge ball!” Dustin blurted.

Max’s expression became concerned.

“ _What?_ ” 

“Someone tried to _kill Mike_ with a _dodgeball_ ,” Dustin repeated.

“She gets it, Dustin,” Lucas responded impatiently.

“Yesterday, during gym. It’s some new kid. He was firing the ball at him so hard it nearly tore off his head.”

"Is Mike alright?"

“Well we know he made it out alive, don’t we? We’ve seen as much. Also – the  kid got smashed in the face by someone, no one knows by who. Nobody on the team will own up to throwing the ball that did it. Probably scared or something.”

Max immediately thought of El. “Or the ball wasn’t thrown by anyone.”

The two boys looked questioningly at her.

“A ball thrown hard enough to smash in a kid’s face. Coming from out of nowhere. Sounds very,” she looked around and lowered her voice “ _mind-powery_ to me.”

Dustin’s eyes widened. “You think that was El? _Nice!_ ”

“Look, none of us know the details. All we know is what Sandra was saying in Dustin’s first period. I say we pretend like we still don’t know,” Lucas piped in.

“Yeah, the last thing we want is a Mike whose pride has been bruised,” Dustin agreed.

Max furrowed her brow.

“So you guys showed up just to tell me this?”

“Well, yeah. Also, you know,” Lucas looked down at his feet. “There’s a crazy guy out there. We just wanted you, to know, be on the lookout.”

Max smiled. “Stalker, are you looking out for me?”

“Well, no. I mean, yes. Ok, kind of, yeah.”

Max smiled despite herself. “You idiot,” she whispered.

“You are both disgusting to watch.”

 

* * *

 

El was dreading going into math. She wasn’t sure how she was going to face Joel and not kill him.

She did her best not to let his presence alone drive her into a mad, tyrannical frenzy. She did her best to focus on the lesson and ignore his customary greeting (“Hola, El Jane!”). She found it to be not as difficult as she anticipated, quickly absorbed in the material of the lecture, scribbling notes as fast as her hand could move.

She loved math.

It made her brain tingle in a way that excited instead of frightened her.

There was so much to be discovered, so much to figure out; but there was always an answer.  

“Hey - ” he began. She battled to keep his voice out of range of her focus, which was the problem sheet in front of her.

“Janey girl,” he called out again.

She inhaled deeply and rolled her eyes.

“You excited for another game of dodgeball today?”

Eleven glared in his direction, willing herself not to throw him across the room.

There was a great enough pause for El to think Joel had got the message, and for her to return to her work.

Then, “you and that skinny kid … you’re friends, right?”  

“He’s my boyfriend,” El’s words were sharp, crystal clear. No room for interpretation. _Boyfriend, noun, a regular male companion with whom one has a romantic relationship._

She knew what that word meant and she owned it wholeheartedly.  

To say it aloud was its own kind of confirmation for Eleven. The words re-instilled a confidence that had been thrown off-balance by the unfortunate series of events from the last few days.

“Huh.” That was all he said.

El turned triumphantly back to her classwork, but beneath the surface she bubbled with an uneasy curiosity.

_Huh._ What did ‘huh’ mean? Why did he say it in a way that made her feel like she was… lying, somehow?

She turned abruptly back to face Joel. “What do you mean ‘huh’?”

“Nothing,” He paused, long enough for El to turn her attention away, the matter closed, until he whispered “just seems weird, is all.”

El looked back at him, her lips pursed angrily.

“I just mean… he’s one of those smart kids, right?” Joel explained innocently. “He seems like he’s into all of that nerdy shit.”

El thought of the constellations shining above the two of them at the cabin, Mike excitedly pointing out the different shapes the stars made when they all lined up a certain way.

She loved those moments, catching him in a moment of uncontrolled passion, throwing himself into his nerdy interests.

Sharing them with El.

“Yeah,” El agreed softly, not understanding where Joel was taking this.

 “So he’s a smart guy, right? But you… and me, too… we’re on a whole other plane of existence.”

El tried to hide the nervous curiosity on her face. What was he going on about now?

“Those kids are usually, like, the worst. They like to think they’re better than us, you know, because we’re not as ‘smart’ or whatever.”

El froze.

“It’s cool your boyfriend isn’t like that.”

He shrugged.

“But, whatever. Opposites attract, I guess.”

El turned back around, humiliated. Flashes of Mike proudly announcing his honor-roll, his advanced classes, his disdain for the wastoids of the world, flooded through her memory.

Her face was flushed.

Apparently, Joel had gotten bored of her, and when she stole a peek to see what he was doing, he was leaning back in his chair, balancing a pencil on the bridge of his nose.

_Mouthbreather._

Mouthbreather.

What actually separated her from Joel, anyhow?

El was special, different. But Jane… how was she any different? No telekinesis, stuck in remedial classes, farmer clothes. 

Wasn’t she just another mouthbreather?

Plain Jane.

A seed had been planted, and nothing good could grow from it.  


	6. Insecure (adjective, (of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> El is troubled by how out of sync she and Mike have become. Insecurities run rampant between the both of them. Also, Dustin dips his toe in scientific ethics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry it's been so long since I last updated... I'm finally back with this next chapter. I want to thank my dearest friend Kate (thenewromantics) for always encouraging and supporting my writing! She's a real blessing. Without further adieu... enjoy the next chapter!

El studied herself intently in the fitting room mirror. It felt strange, wearing jeans that fit her so correctly. She was so used to the pairs that practically fell off her waistline. And the top was pretty. It was a pastel pink, her favorite. She should love this outfit. She couldn’t understand why she didn’t.

“What do you think, sweetheart?”

El loved whenever Joyce used that doting term with her.

“I - … I don’t know,” El said after some time.

“I think it looks great!” Will piped in cheerfully. The Saturday afternoon shopping trip was supposed to be time for just Joyce and El, but when Will had asked to tag along, El had been anything but hesitant.

“Honey, you’ve said that about everything she’s tried on.”

“I know. I was sort of hoping we’d be done and having a soft pretzel by now,” Will replied softly.

Despite feeling so off, El laughed.

“There’s the smile I love,” Joyce said. “So, do you like it?”

El didn’t know how to explain what she was feeling. Like she was wearing someone else’s skin, like she didn’t deserve to be in such nice clothes, like she was playing a trick on the world by wearing them. Even if she wore a pretty top, she’d still be a plain Jane.

So instead she just said, “I’m sorry.”

Joyce’s face fell. “Oh, sweetie, it’s OK. We’ll find you something.”

“Pretzels,” was El’s response.

Will looked guilty. “El, I didn’t mean we should stop looking for you. Pretzels can wait.”

She smiled. “No, it’s OK. I’m hungry too.”

Joyce smiled at the two kids she loved with all her heart. “Oh, Hop is going to be so angry with me when you come home empty-handed.”

“He will be OK,” El assured.

“Will you be OK?” Joyce looked seriously at El, who was taken aback by the intensity in her face.

For Joyce’s sake more than her own, she swallowed and smiled. “I like the jeans,” El lied.

Joyce clapped. “Oh thank God.”

Joyce gleefully purchased the dark blue, high-waisted jeans for El. She laughed to herself as the cashier rang up the purchase.

“Just wait until your dad gets a look at these,” she smiled and then stopped short, realizing what she had said.

Dad.

It was still a vulnerable term.

El just smiled.

“I just mean, he’ll get a kick out of them,” Joyce continued.

El nodded in agreement.

“They’re great, El. Really,” Will said with a smile.

Joyce finished purchasing the pants and handed the shopping bag over to El. “Now, I know you guys want pretzels,” she looked over at Will, “but I just won’t be satisfied until I see you in at least a few tops.”

El smiled.

OK.

By the end of the shopping day, El had purchased four different shirts, each with its own individual crazy pattern, and Will looked as if he was about to pass out from exhaustion.

“I think, Will, you’ve earned your soft pretzel now.”

Joyce, Will, and El sat together at a small table at the food court, squeezing mustard packets and laughing at Will’s impersonation of Dustin eating a corndog.

All in all, it was a successful day.

It had been nice to spend some time with Joyce and Will, who were practically family. And as much as she hated to admit it, it was nice to spend the day apart from Mike as well.

She never thought she’d ever feel that way.

She’d managed to avoid Joel all of gym on Friday, the day after the dodgeball fiasco, by running laps. Joel was bounding ahead of the rest of them, while El and Will scuffled along with Mike, gasping for breath, at the back of the pack. After school, they’d all gone to the arcade. Mike could tell something was off; when he had asked her what was wrong, she didn’t have an answer. She asked to be dropped off early while the rest of the gang got pizza.

_“I’ll stay with you,” Mike had offered._

_“No, it’s ok. I’m just going to bed.”_

The rest of the weekend was spent avoiding her boyfriend. He’d called to ask if she wanted to study with him on Saturday, but the last thing she wanted to do was be reminded of how smart Mike -- and how comparably dumb she -- was. So, she’d declined, claiming she had reading to do on her own – which, all things considered, wasn’t a lie. She spent the day struggling through the first chapters of the Outsiders. They, like her, had “different” names – Ponyboy and Soda Pop – and she longed to be inside a world where being “Eleven” was just an everyday occurrence. It made her hate ‘Jane’ even more.

Now it was late Sunday afternoon, and though the time she’d spent with Joyce and Will was a pleasant break, the threat of the upcoming week of school loomed over her ominously.

Finished with their snack, the three sauntered leisurely to the parking lot, none of them really wanting to say goodbye to the weekend.

  
“Wanna show me what you got?” her dad inquired after El had been dropped off and had properly thanked Joyce for the thousandth time.

“Can I tomorrow? I’m pretty tired.”

Hopper furrowed his eyebrows. “It’s not even seven o’clock yet. Everything OK, kid?”

“Yeah,” El lied. “Just… tired.”

“OK,” Hopper didn’t press, which El was thankful for.

That night she lay in bed, fully awake, unable to sleep. When she was finally able to doze off, somewhere between two and four in the morning, she had an abhorrently vivid nightmare. Mike was lost in the Upside Down, and El had no use of her powers to find and save him. When she woke, sweating, it took her several moments to realize that it had just been a dream. She had to take a trip into the void to make sure that Mike was still alive, and was relieved to find him sleeping soundly in bed. It was five-thirty; she had to be up in an hour.

“You look like hell, kid,” Hopper said as El arrived at the kitchen table with deep purple bags under her eyes. She said nothing in response, just reached for the freezer where the Eggos were stored, and pulled out two to toast.

“Did you get any sleep last night?”

“I had nightmares,” El replied.

“I’m sorry, kid. You know… when you have nightmares, you can wake me up, right?”

El smiled and nodded.

“I’m OK. I promise,” she assured him.

“Alright. Well, looks like you could use some coffee.” El’s eyes widened. “Want to try some?”

Hopper passed the cup over to El, who held it gleefully. She sniffed at it, unsure, and then gently brought her lips to the brim of the glass. Slowly, she took a sip.

She scrunched up her face and feigned a retching noise.

Hopper laughed. “That bad, huh?”

 

* * *

 

There was no avoiding Mike once she got to school. And as weird as she still felt since her last conversation with Joel, two days without Mike had been the longest they’d been apart since their first year-long separation. She missed him. Her nightmare the previous night left her feeling especially uneasy. As El approached the party’s regular meeting spot at the front of school, near the bike racks, Mike’s face lit up.

“El!” he half-jogged to meet her and threw his long, dangling arms around her. He was buzzing, excited but clearly anxious. The warmth of his embrace was intoxicating and familiar all at once, and she melted into it, wrapping her arms around his waist in response.

“How are you?” he whispered into her ear.

She whispered into his chest in response, “I’m OK.”

“Alright, alright,” Dustin called from the bike racks. “Want to let us in on whatever secrets you’re sharing?”

“No!” Mike called back, resting his chin on top of El’s head. El backed out of Mike’s embrace and smiled up at him.

“You look really pretty today,” Mike said with a smile. “Is that a new shirt?”

She’d almost forgotten about the new clothes she’d purchased with Joyce and Will. Today she was wearing a yellow button up with a crazy zig-zagging pattern and her new high-waisted denim that hit just above her waist line. She had her frizzy hair half-up in a blue scrunchie.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I bought it with Will and Joyce at the mall yesterday.”

“Oh,” Mike said, his expression unreadable. He wrapped an arm around her waist and they turned to greet the rest of the gang.

“Hey, El,” Max tried, like she always did. El, already preoccupied with thoughts planted in her head by Joel, was particularly insecure about her relationship with Mike, and didn’t have any civility left in her for Max.

El said nothing, and turned to the rest of the group.

“Cool shirt, El! Where’d you get it?” Will joked.

“You’re pretty late today,” Lucas noted.

As if on cue, the dreaded bell rang. El audibly sighed and Dustin smacked her arm playfully. “That’s the spirit, Elly!”

“Don’t slap my girlfriend, Dustin,” Mike chastised.

 

* * *

  
  


El sat down in English with her copy of The Outsiders out, ready to discuss. The class was buzzing; the girls behind El where chattering away with one another. One of them, a beautiful girl with long, straight, brunette hair, tapped El on the shoulder and asked, “hey, did you do the reading?”

El turned in her chair and furrowed her brows. “Yeah, we were supposed to, right?”

The girl laughed, but not mean-spiritedly. “Yeah, but that’s hardly ever gotten me to do something before.”

El smiled. She was more determined than ever to succeed in her classes, so she could catch up to the rest of her friends – but she hardly was going to judge someone else for skipping out on The Outsiders.

“You’re new around here, aren’t you? You’re the police chief’s daughter?” asked the blonde girl to the pretty brunette’s right.

El stiffened and nodded.

“Cool.”

That was it; no more prying questions, no passive remarks. El smiled at the three girls and they smiled back, and she felt more comfortable than she had since the start of the school year. She opened her mouth to ask the girls their names, as she was taught was common courtesy, but the teacher cleared her throat especially loudly to get the class’s attention, and that was that.

El was still riding the high of her friendly interaction when she sauntered into math, excited to tell Mike all about the nice girls she’d met. She couldn’t wait to get through the class and get to lunch, and in her giddiness completely forgot Joel even existed.

That was until he sat down beside her, fifteen minutes into the start of the class. She stiffened as he took his seat, preparing for his usual – racist – greeting, but was surprised when he said nothing, took out his notebook, and promptly went about copying down the notes on the chalkboard.

Huh.

She didn’t question it, happy to not interact. She was still beyond angry at him for how crappy she felt all weekend, and because of what he’d said, things had been weird between her and Mike ever since.

She shrugged off her curiosity and focused in on the lesson. When the bell rang, she quickly put her things in her backpack, knowing that Mike would be waiting by her locker for her. She exited the classroom without a second glance, and was happy to have made it the whole class without a single word shared with the tall ginger boy she loathed.

Mike was waiting, as expected, by her locker. She beamed, and he beamed right back, and she was so deliriously happy in that moment.

She waltzed up, stood on her toes, put both arms around his neck, and planted a firm kiss on his lips.

“Hi,” she greeted.

“Hi,” he said back, his cheeks reddening, a smile spread wide across his face. “You seem like you’re in a better mood.”

She nodded, turned away from him and spinning the knob of her locker. She grabbed her lunch and slammed the door shut. Mike reached for her hand and the two began walking.

“I met some really nice girls today in my English class,” El whispered to Mike as they strolled outside to their lunch spot. “They were really nice.”

Mike smiled. “That’s great, El. What are their names? Maybe I know them.”

El frowned. “I don’t know their names yet.”

“Don’t know whose names yet?” Dustin asked, already sitting down and biting into his sandwich. Max and Will sat on either side of him.

“Some girls El met in her English class,” Mike answered. Still holding hands, the pair sat down across from their friends.

“Hmm,” was all Dustin said in response. “Well I had the time of my life in honors biology today. I argued for half an hour about the ethics of frog dissection with Mr. Odell.”

“I didn’t know you had any issues with dissection,” Max said.

“I don’t. He did. He made it an optional assignment, I was arguing it should be mandatory.”

Mike let out a laugh.

“I’m sure he loved that,” Lucas quipped, taking a seat next to El and across from Max.

“Oh, look who finally decided to show up!”

“Shut up, Dustin,” was Lucas’s only explanation for his tardiness.

The gang chattered away.

El glanced out over the sea of high schoolers and noticed the three girls from her class.

El tapped Mike on the shoulder and pointed. “That’s them.”

Mike squinted before his face fell into an expression of disgust.

“That’s who?” he asked.

“The girls I met today in English. The nice ones.”

Mike looked like he’d just eaten a tablespoon of horseradish. A quiet fell on the rest of their friends as they caught on to the interaction between Mike and El.

“What’s up?” Lucas asked El, following her gaze to the group of girls chattering under a tree across campus.

“Why are we looking at those assholes?” Lucas frowned.

“Assholes?” El questioned.

Before Mike could say anything, Dustin piped in. “Yeah, only the biggest jerks of the grade. Basically tortured Mike all of his sixth grade year.”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Thank you, Dustin.”

“They … tortured you?” El looked crestfallen.

“It’s not a big deal,” Mike said under his breath, his face reddening.

“Well it was then! Remember how you had to go home one day crying because they would not stop TAUNTING you?”

“Dustin - ” Will intervened.

“They’re just a group of idiot girls,” Mike spat defensively. “They don’t even know how to read. What do I care what they think?”

El’s face went hot and she looked ashamedly at her lap. Idiot girls. No different from her. How could she have thought girls who had tortured Mike were nice? She’d done nothing, but she felt farther away from Mike than ever.

“I forgot something in my locker.” There it was. A lie.

Friends don’t lie.

But she couldn’t tell the truth either, could she? Who was she becoming?

She found her way to a secluded, grassy knoll and sat and waited. The bell rang and she waited some more. She wasn’t going to P.E. The last thing she wanted was to seem upset in front of Mike.

Ten minutes after the bell, it wasn’t Mike, but Will, who found her outside. He waved and came to sit by her, saying nothing.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in PE?” El asked quietly.

“Aren’t you?” Will asked her, smiling.

El picked the grass beneath her upright knees mindlessly, and Will watched her in silence.

“Why didn’t you want to go to PE today?” Will asked gently. “Because of Joel?”

He was intuitive, almost to a fault.

El shook her head. “Because of Mike.”

Will’s eyebrows furrowed. “Mike? Why?”

“It’s… complex.” She smiled to herself. Complex was a pretty complex word, and she felt accomplished using it.

She remembered the complexities of the language of everyone else around her, how silly she was, and frowned.

Will waited patiently.

“Do you think he really likes me?” El asked Will. She knew the answer was yes, Mike had never given her any reason to doubt it, and yet…

“Yeah,” Will replied assuredly. “No question.”

El paused.

“Do you like a girl, Will?”

Will’s eyes grew larger, surprised by the question. “Um… well, I don’t really - ” he stammered.

El looked down at her knees. “How do you know, then? That he likes me?”

Will paused.

“When you were gone, you know. He was crazy without you.”

El sighed.

“I feel crazy with him,” she admitted quietly. “I’m always happy but scared, too. Do you know?”

Will looked at her for a long time. He nodded.

“And I do like a girl.” El cocked her head just slightly, waiting for the completion of his thought.

“I like you.”

El smiled.

“I like you too, Will.”

 

* * *

 

When the bell rang and El still hadn’t returned from her locker, Mike became worried.  
Instead of going to gym, he told Will and Dustin to walk ahead, he was going to check on El. Dustin and Will, of course, declined; they would come with him.

When they arrived at El’s locker with El nowhere to be found, Mike became panicked. He wondered if he would ever not feel this same chest-tightening, teeth-clenching anxiety – especially when it came to losing Eleven. He guessed not; he’d been too traumatized by the year they’d spent apart, every day unsure if she was alive or dead. That kind of fear, though he tried to keep it at bay, managed to seep into his everyday life. To the point that, yes, when his girlfriend didn’t show up in time to walk to gym together, he panicked.

“Where is she?”

Will soothingly suggested “maybe she went to gym early?”

Dustin nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that’s a good possibility.”

“OK, I’ll check there.” He nodded a little frantically.

“I’ll come with you,” Dustin piped in.

“I’ll check around here,” Will offered.

“Thanks, guys.”

Mike and Dustin broke off toward the gym while Will turned and headed the other direction.

Mike charged into the gymnasium in his regular clothes, into a sea of t-shirts and gym shorts. “El?” he called. A few students looked up at him. None of them were El.

“I’ll wait outside the girl’s locker room,” Dustin suggested.

Mike nodded, and Dustin peeled off toward the changing rooms.

“Hey,” he heard someone call from across the gym. Mike knew instantaneously who it was, but still reluctantly looked up to find a tall ginger kid the source of the voice. Mike sighed, so very not in the mood.

“Hey, where’s Jane?” Joel asked.

“Why do you care?” There was an edge to Mike’s voice.

“Uh, because we’re friends.”

“You’re delusional,” Mike whispered under his breath.

“What was that?” Joel stepped forward, closer to Mike, and from that proximity it was evident Joel was taller than him.

“Nothing. I don’t know where she is.”

“Aren’t you guys dating?”

“Yes.”

Mike turned away, headed toward the girl’s locker room, when –

“I’d keep a tighter leash if I were you.” Joel said quietly, his voice at a level only he and Mike could hear.

“What?” Mike barked.

“A girl that pretty… with you … I mean you should hear what some of the guys say.”

Mike rolled his eyes, but his heart beat rapidly in his chest.

“I’m just saying,” Joel said, hands up in surrender. Then he pivoted and sauntered away.

Mike’s face was hot and he looked down to find his hands clenched. He took a moment to compose himself.

Then –

“Wheeler!”

Great. It was Coach Bern.

“Where are your gym clothes? We’re starting class!”

“Uh,” Mike stumbled, quickly finding an excuse to ditch class, “I’m going to the nurse - I don’t feel well!”

Lame.

The coach sighed. “Bullshit you don’t feel well. Get over here. Congratulations, you’re playing basketball in your corduroys.”

Mike looked frantically left, then right, and, when words failed him, he simply walked away.

“WHEELER!” he heard behind him, followed by the snickering of several classmates.

He didn’t have time for basketball, or Coach Bern, or least of all this nagging feeling of insecurity pulling at his heartstrings.

His first priority was finding El. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, all I can say is, I'm so sorry for how angsty and unsatisfying this chapter is... I can only promise to you that it won't always be like this!! Believe in the power of Mike and El's love to overcome anything... because I certainly do ;) Please leave a comment letting me know what you thought of the story!! And if you ever want to talk to me more about Growing Pains (or anything, really) you can find me over on tumblr at mikewheeler.tumblr.com. Much love <3


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